Guerrillamum's Blog


A difficult time…

Things have been a bit difficult in our house lately because Peter has been having a challenging time at school. Believe me, having written a book on parenting children with special educational needs is no guarantee at all that you will have all the answers when things unexpectedly fall apart at school. One of the other children with special educational needs has been bullying him, and after two and a half years of relative calm, and being in what he has considered to be a safe place, Peter has gone to pieces. I understand the difficulties for the school in managing the needs of all children involved, and also their obligation to continue to meet everybody’s needs. It must be much more difficult to manage bullying situations where the bully has special educational needs. I have had the somewhat humbling experience of finding it incredibly difficult to take my own advice in dealing with the school. I have got upset both with and in the company of teachers. I have had to bite my tongue and not tell Peter that what the other child really needs is a good thump! Me and the Guerrilla Dad have had a number of disagreements with the school over their handling of the problem.

Lets face it, I was never going to deal with it well if Peter ever was bullied again at school. But right now, at the beginning of year 10, and his GCSEs, with the new modular style of exam, where he is already beginning to do work that will count to his final exam results, we just can’t have this. The possiblity of him leaving school with a creditable number of GCSEs looked to be eminently feasible at the beginning of the term. Now it is looking much less likely. Peter is trying to take refuge in computer games. He is no longer on top of his game and sometimes has no idea when a test is coming up. He is emotionally a little boy again in many ways. It makes me so angry.

We have now reached an agreement with the school about how to manage the bullying, and I really hope things get sorted out quickly. I am watching to see if the school does the things they have agreed to do. One thing that has leaped out at us with absolute clarity during this time is that you can’t overstate the necessity to have the right physical and emotional learning environment for children with special educational needs at school. It has also not been much consolation to know that everything is going well for William at school – it has just made Peter’s situation look and feel so much worse.

I have turned to reading books to try and get some ideas for dealing with these things. There are some really good ones from Jessica Kingsley Publishing, and I have decided (with their agreement) to review a few on this blog. So watch this space, I will tell you which ones help me to make this situation better. The practice of analysing something written by someone else will also come in handy for when Sarah Teather’s Green Paper on special educational needs and disability is published. Lets hope she makes a better job of it than OFSTED did!

Onwards and upwards…. Ellen P

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4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Oh Ellen! I’m so sorry to hear of the situation. You must be finding it reaslly difficult. However, as you say, you have the strategies & know that you need to give ‘the plan’ time to work throuhg. I do hope it doesn’t take too long & that things have imprvoed before you break for Christmas. Julia

Comment by jfb57

Hi Julia
Things seem to be improving now, and he is getting back to his old self. As you say we can see the strategies we negotiated with the school are beginning to work. Early days yet but Peter is much happier these last few days. Now he just needs to catch up on the school work…

Thanks for commenting.

Ellen

Comment by guerrillamum

Sorry to hear this. Have you spoken to the LA secondary behaviour suport team if only for a bit of moral support?

Comment by citizenr

Hi Citizenr
Thanks for the suggestion, I will see what the LA have in terms of behaviour support team. Things are beginning to get a little better. Ellen

Comment by guerrillamum




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